My creative skills have been on the edge of entropy for way too long, such as it is. Right now, though, things have kind of gone off the deep end, and who knows how this might affect the future of me. My life has a distraction of a sort which I wish I would never have to face again, but it always comes back.
A couple hours away, in a hospital bed lies a dear friend of mine, a inspiration, a kindred spirit - one of the few I have. Shane's had heart problems since he was born. It's an unfortunate thing, but he's done okay, for many years of his life, thanks to medical technology. It would seem, though, that the sands of his life are finally running out. For the last several weeks he's been in intensive care, his heart losing strength, his lungs struggling. All of his friends and family have been totally supportive and have done everything they can to help out, for what little we CAN do.
His body continues to grow weaker, despite all the hard work the doctors have done. The latest message from our network of friends has brought even more grim news, though. Tomorrow they will take him off his ventilator, and then... only time will answer. He'll spend what time he has left in the company of his children and their mother. All the rest of us can do is pray and hope.. hope beyond all possible hope that he pulls through. It is likely he won't live to see the end of the week, and it will send a devastating ripple of hurt through all of us who love him.
I feel so desparately for his children. I've been through what they're dealing with, but I was a good bit older. Even so, it was still hard as utter hell for me to deal with, and I was a grown man. It's going to be so hard on them. My circle is full of wonderful people. I know in my heart, as well as I will, that we'll all help take care of those kids in his honor.
I'm trying to fight back the tears and the wrenching in my guts. Now, more than ever, our group is going to need shoulders and hearts to lean on. I must be one of these. I've done it before, when my mother crossed the void. I will have to suffer in silence, for a time. It's my choice, because I know I can be strong enough to withstand what is coming.
As to my dear friend, Shane, I still wish with all my heart that he makes it through this. I don't want to have to say goodbye to another friend, like this. I know death is inevitable, that doesn't mean I like it. when it does happen. Should he go, the world will lose a great friend, a wonderful father, an inspiring artist, and I will lose another kindred spirit. If it is time for him to cross over, I wish my friend safe journeys and pray his spirit finds its place in the great all, but he will be dearly missed.
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